Resident Evil - Apocalypse review by The Grim Ringler

So, I have to admit, I really liked the first RE film. Was it great? God no, and on further inspection, I wonder how very good it is now, but it was fun, fast, and entertaining. The thing was, that it didnt really have anything to do with the video games. Which sucks, as the games are great, but the film wasnt bad, and there was hope the story would veer back in the right direction in the second film. Yeah, about that

RE: Apocalypse picks up almost exactly where the first film ended, which leaves our hero Alice (the always delicious Milla Jovavich) in a city of the dead. But we have to backtrack a bit here first life in Raccoon City is not so great. The dreaded Umbrella Corporation is at it again with their genetic tampering and this time theyre not happy with reviving the dead, no way, they want to create a super-soldier that can be sent into combat zones to whup some ass. The citizens of the city though have zombies to contend with, and with the corporation trapping all residents within the city; its every person for themselves. Several members of Raccoon Citys finest are up for the challenge but join forces with the only person to survive the treachery of Umbrella Alice. As the small group fights for their survival, they make an alliance with an Umbrella scientist who may know a way to escape the horror of the city, but first they must save his daughter from the city. In order to do that though they must not only survive the zombies, the killer dogs, the monster-licker-dudes, but also the super-soldier Umbrella has created, something that seems to be unstoppable. Alice may be hiding the only weapon that can destroy the super soldier and bring down the Umbrella Corporation herself.

How these numskulls can take such a fun, scary video game series and turn it into this crapfest is beyond me. Seriously, I dont get it. The first film was fun, not great at all, but it was fun. I was the fool though that fell for the line that the first film was just leading to more of the story behind the Resident Evil mythos as set out by the games. WRONG. What you get with the second film is a ridiculous action film with some hysterically bad dialogue and embarrassing action scenes. I expected Jeff Speakman or Dolph Lundgren to pop up during the film, to be honest. The Tyrant creature looks swell, I have to admit, and its always a pleasure to watch Miss Milla but I cant even say this film was entertaining. It was just pathetic. Bombast and over-the-top actions do not a good film make.

So what do you get with RE Apocalypse? You get a bigger budgeted Sci-Fi channel pot-boiler that makes you realize they ran out of story an hour into it. Now that is embarrassing.

Good points? Its fast-paced, its got pretty people in it, there are a lot of explosions, some decent monster and zombie FX, and there are moments that are kinda interesting, but all told, its a wasted movie. Even as an inexpensive rental I felt I had wasted my money.

UGH.

The DVD is loaded, though I cant honestly tell you what was on it because I had no desire to watch another thing about the film. So do I recommend this? Not in the least. Its a boring, silly, bombastic, and its a shameful mark against this cool game franchise. Watch the first one, then imagine a world where this sequel and the upcoming sequels dont exist. Consider yourself warned.

c




4 out of 10 Jackasses
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