Bachelor Party review by Jackass Tom

I’ve talked to a number of people about how vulgar movies are these days. The popular argument is that movies are getting progressively worse from year to year. American Pie is probably the most recent raunchy film (at least the first that comes to mind), with the key nasty moment being when the main character makes love to an apple pie. Anyone looking to challenge this argument should turn their attention to the full non-Comedy-Central-edited version of Bachelor Party featuring screen legend Tom Hanks. With this movie along, you could write a thesis proving that comedies from the 80s, pound for pound, were the raunchiest of any decade.

The premise of Bachelor Party is pretty simple. Loser slob Rick Gassko (Tom Hanks) is set to marry hot debutante Debbie Thompson (Whitesnake hotty, Tawny Kitaen). It’s an odd pairing, made even odder given Debbie’s snooty parents reaction to Gassko’s lack of class. They obviously don’t want this wedding to happen, but that’s more or less a peripheral story. The real story we have here is Gassko’s friends quest to throw him a one hell of a party. Porno. Beer. Drugs. Hookers. A donkey. Isn’t that pretty much the 80s in a nutshell? Oh yeah, and crappy clothing (Debbie ironically works at a clothing store that, by today’s standards, looks like a resale shop of crap) and bad hair (take your pick of characters).

Bachelor Party is one of those absurd 80s comedies that looks like an update of a Benny Hill skit. For example, Hanks and his cronies come up with a masterful plan to take care of yuppie, wet blanket Cole Whittier (Robert Prescott), who is trying to kill Hanks and prevent him from marrying his love. That masterful plan is to distract him using a naked lady, so that they can wrap him up stark-nekked in a bed-sheet and hang him from 20-story hotel. ”It’s just so crazy that it could work!” my mind says. Other moments, feel as if they are out of a Savage Steve Holland film sans depressing main character. The maze-like movie theatre, Hank’s school bus from hell, and just his motley crew of whacked out/sex-crazed/drugged up/suicidal friends could have come straight out of Better Off Dead or One Crazy Summer.

So what sets Bachelor Party apart from raunchy movies now-a-days? Boobs, boobs and more boobs. Lots of hookers walking around with their tops on, being chased by horn-ball 20-somethings, and just good-ole fashioned bare chested partying. It’s too many to count. In a movie now-a-days, seeing a pair of boobs is a scene all-to-itself. It’s the center of attention. Here, it slowly becomes the backdrop. Then there are the occasional full-frontals. Does that happen at all these days? Today’s comedies have watered down nudity in order to get a PG-13 rating. There is no doubt in my mind if Bachelor Party was made today it would have a hard time getting out of NC-17 range.

As if all this wasn’t enough, they push limits of all decency by attempting… a donkey show. Yes a donkey show. It’s the unspoken (well, ok sometimes spoken) dirty word you hear about when someone says they “crossed into a Mexican border town.” The true test of how hard someone partied in Tijuana is whether or not they saw a donkey show. It’s not something that you want to talk about in casual company (let alone discuss in a movie). Just suggesting that you know about its existence could be used as proof that you are a sick and perverted human. The suggestion of its attempt (before the donkey snorts 4 lines of cocaine and dies) really shows you that the makers of Bachelor Party had no problem doing anything and everything to push the limits of decency… even in the 80s. I applaud you all!

Its fun watching the ‘respectable’ Tom Hanks in a role that is so much the polar opposite of what he has become within the last two decades. Also Tawny Kitaen (“Here I go AGAIN on my OWN!”), is quite easy on the eye. The 80s kitsch stereotypes are in full affect here, leaving you to believe, some stereotypes exist for a reason. Bachelor Party is a fun little dirty ditty, highly recommended for the guys, and not so for the gals. The name suggests as much. Think… Revenge of the Nerds or Animal House. It’s a good case of beer and your best buddies type of movie and nothing more.

7 out of 10 Jackasses
blog comments powered by Disqus