Bulletproof Monk review by John

I am in a dilema personally. Here I am a top reviewer on the world famous JackassCritics.com web page and I have hit the wall professionally. The reviews on this site are all uplifting and whatnot. Where is the jackass in jackasscritics? So I was on a mission and the mission was this; bring the jackass back to jackasscritics. This can be done easily enough by panning good films. This I will not do. I have a strict yet flexable moral code that I live by when I can remember it. To watch a bad movie and just rip it to shreds is the way to go then. Hence Bulletproof Monk.

The movie starts with a fight scene between the lead character, or 'the guy' as I will refer to him, and his elder/teacher. They fight Matrix-style on a bridge for a little while until the teacher gets bested and 'the guy' saves him before he falls off the ricketty wooden bridge, which, one would have to conceed, is a little cliche even if you like the genre. In the following sequence we get some good plot points and then the Germans come in to take the mystical scroll which holds all the power in the universe (not really but kinda). Of course the monks have vowed to protect it because mankind isn't ready for either extreme be it peace or destruction. And this goes right into the next fight scene and the hero escapes.

Armed with our plot points we are ready to jump forward 60 years and look for a new chosen one to guard the scroll for another 60 year period. Enter Kar, the pick pocket, smart aleck with no family(apparently Kar is family in korean or something). He is well liked enough by those that know him and he seems to make an impression on people with little more than a glance. He can also fight a bit, which he picked up by watching, and mimicking, the terrible dubbed movies that this one should have been. At least then we could forgive the campiness. But he uses this fighting skill to fend off some local thugs whose territory he invaded by stealing in their turf. Jade helps him out here, this is where Kar's charisma comes into play.

Jade is the dame and romantic interest. She is a rich girl, sort of, who is just looking for the respect, on the streets mind you, that she couldnt get anywhere else(what?). Of course they fight at first, Jade and Kar, and why wouldnt they? They basically were smitten by each other at first site. Are we getting all the same old re-hashed feelings here?

I could go on and tell you what happens, but you already know. There is a minor little twist at the end, but not that big or important. This movie is just full of re-hashed Matrix moves, and ancient wisdom from the orient. The wisdom crack was sarcasm. Of course the fighting was trite, the kind of scenes that just beg for you to look for the suspension cables that they used. Some of it was good, but if someone does a back flip in every scene after getting kicked in the chest you just cant help but yarn and look at your watch. I do have to say that this is not the movie I thought it was going to be though. I expected American Pie meets Crouching Tiger for obvious reasons. Surprisingly there were very few stupid one line jokes. This movie was definitely more action than comedy, and I appreciated that.

5 out of 10 Jackasses
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