Movies Most Likely to Increase Your Chances of Action...
Movie Date Ken. Be careful, walk the line, or you may end up lonely like Kenny here.
Ahhh movies. The traditional and solid Friday/Saturday night date activity. Movies are so popular with the kids because they are such a damn good date option. You get to sit in the dark for a few hours, no talking, but the potential for an occasional glancing touch or if you're lucky a snuggle up. Then again I've been in a theatre or two where a hell of a lot more than that was going on (if you were in the Sunday night showing of The One at the AMC 20 in Livonia, Michigan you know what I'm talking about), but that really isn't the point. Afterwards you have an instant conversation starter - "What'd you think of the movie?". Nod along as the other person talks and you've got an instant bond. Blammo! Boy this sure is turning into Matt's handbook of dating.
Anyways, there are some movie options that are more likely to lead to some action for you later in the night. I have studied this phenomenon intently and using the Scientific method, I have come up with several "Action Increasing Movie" categories, and some solid examples from each category. The main categories break down this way:
Movies with a lot of skin exposed (tastefully, of course)
Scary ass movies (tasteful scary ass movies, of course)
Vampire movies
Movies with a lot of skin exposed (tastefully, of course)
This is a fine line, because if you cross over then you are in trasy land and you're not going to get much respect. So be sure to check things out on this one before going in blind. Does the movie you're picking up have a couple of big name stars? If so, then you're likely safe. Sure, you're probably going to get less skin exposure, but that's ok. It's not worth risking going into the trashy zone, and turning your datee completely 180 degrees from your intention.
Yes! Unrated == more action than in the theatres. Score.
Original Sin - Ohhhh lordy there is a lot of crotch rubbing going on in this one. This movie definitely took the cake in terms of on screen nudity for an R rated movie. Luis Antonio Vargas (Antonio Banderas) sends away for a wife, who arrives and he finds quite pleasing to the eye, Julia Russell (Angelina Jolie). They act like bunnies for a while and then she double crosses him and goes on the lamb with Luis' fat cash. Luis isn't too pleased with the revelation and decides to track her down. It's a reasonably entertaining storyline but the on screen action, if you're date isn't too prudish, could be enough to clear the last hurdle. As an extra bonus, this flick is usually in the $9 rack at your local superstore so if you're in a spat of a lot of dating, give this sucker and buy and you'll really save big on those rental and late fees.
Unfaithful - Again, a lot of big name stars here. Diane Lane and Richard Gere are the main players, so you know this one is PC enough for your DVD player. Connie Sumner (Lane) isn't particularly tired of her relationship with Edward Sumner, but she decides to sweat up the sheets with stinking Frenchman Paul Martel regardless. Obviously this upsets Edward, who takes matters into his own hands. The couple then has to deal with the fallout from the relationship. Can they patch things up and move on forward? This one does get a three point deduction if the rentee has been married for more than 6 years. If so, then renting this might give your significant some ideas about how exciting it may be to swing with a stinking Frenchman. Stick with Original Sin.
Scary ass movies (tasteful scary ass movies, of course)
Now this one is again going to be subjective because it is a fine line. If there is something that terrifies your date, like spiders, then you don't necessarily want to push that button. If you manage to put your date into a comatose state your chances of action in the short term plummet. However there are some options out there that could work in your favor.
In spite of the backlash, Blair Witch can still be useful.
Blair Witch Project - Yeah, yeah. Everyone's seen it and it's because a parody of itself by this point. But put this into the DVD player during a cold, windy night, turn the lights off and the sound just a little too loud and you can easily get into a disturbed state. Watch as Heather, Josh and Mike (all appropriately named) trounce off into the woods to make a documentary on the Blair Witch. Watch as they begin to crack up individually, losing control. Are their minds just playing tricks on them, or might the Blair Witch be more realistic than they had hoped? Again, this movie offers a great potential for conversation when talking about all the hoopla during it's theatrical release. Lord knows how many people I met that swore up and down to me that it was true. Heck if you're a meanie then tell your date it is true. I don't care.
Vampire Movies
Now, you have to admit there is something sensual about your average vampire movie. I am sure quite a few literature and film majors have written their thesis on the sexual nature of the vampires need for blood, the activity of tapping the neck, the meaning behind the bond that the vampire and their victim, a new vampire, share. The vampire movie today breaks down into two main categories: the mainstream, big time vampire flick and the trashy, low end, lots of T&A vampire flick. Both have a place in your dvd on date night.
Interview with a Vampire - Boy what doesn't this movie have when it comes to date night? Most importantly we have both Tom Cruise, playing Lestat, and Brad Pitt, playing Louis, as the main leads in the flick. Also making appearances are Antonio Banderas and Christian Slater so you've got your bases covered if you're date is into the Latin connection or drughead/wifebeater thing respectively. Given the big names, you can tell that what's on screen will be pretty respectable but there is still a lot of erotic stuff going down. You won't be disappointed.
Witchcraft N - There is this series called Witchcraft and the makers just keep pumping them out. In generally there's a poor plot, poor acting and somewhat interesting locales. There's always a lot of hoot exposure and some ripped dudes around to act as eye candy and please the ladies. There are at least 12 entries in this series, and I maybe have seen one or two, so I can't give you exact recommendations, but for some reason I really doubt that they are all that much different. Now I'm warning you that these are pretty trashy, so you've got to read the tea leaves and see what kind of tolerance level we're dealing with here. At the very least I would recommend that this be the second leg of a DVD double header, start out with something sweet like America's Sweethearts as a prelude before you dive into this...
Four movies, 0 plot, Lotsa Hooties
May the dating commence!
Well, I've given you the keys. You have to use them. Best of luck my friends and loyal readers. Let me know if you have any movies that you have used on your dates, and what kind of success that you've had.
In rebutal to this I think I should list 5 movies that would kill a first date:
1. Scarface - Yeah the guys love Pacino and "say hello to my little friend." but the ladies don't really care for a coked up Cuban for 3 solid agonizing de palma hours.
2. Die Hard - And by this, I mean to sum up any old action film. Rambo is guilty as is Predator. You are getting no where with this.
3. Dumb and Dumber - I love the movie but its best left for the guys. Unless you have a woman with you that enjoys the screwy comedies you might want to pass on this one.
4. American History X - I'll pass on any movie that involves and male-to-male shower scene.
5. Saving Private Ryan - This is sort of a combination of Die Hard and Scarface movies. Its long and there is too much damn violence. This won't help matters much.
Actually I have to disagree with Matt on whether vampire movies would be good. I know there is a lot of necking going on in those films, but when it comes down to witchcraft... hmmm, it might take some bending. Interview with a Vampire might be ok though. They will oogle over Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise...let em!
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